The Perfect Husband

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.

A cell phone on a bench close by begins to ring with a deafening and highly irritating Rap Tune. Someone screams, "Turn that thing off before I throw it in the shower room!"

The man nearest to the phone reaches over. He engages the hands-free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello?"

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes, I am."

WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new models for next year. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$60,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing... The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They've come down $10,000 and now they are asking $950,000. What do you think, should we make them an offer?"

MAN: "Absolutely. Go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $940,000 so they will know we are serious buyers."

WOMAN: "OK, Honey! Now you're talking! I can't wait to see you later! Look for me upstairs and don't be long! I love you so much!"

MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.

Then the man smiles and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?" 

Bill Gates and Laloo

Gates: Namaskar! you must have heard of Windows. 

Laloo: Oh yes! most govt. offices we have the single window clearance concept. 

Gates: At home have u installed Windows? 

Laloo: I have removed all windows due to increased burgalaries in our house.

Gates(Confused): Then what is the system you operate on?

Laloo: OPERATION? Yes, I had a Hernia operation last month.

Gates(Sweating): Hope the internet is being used a lot in India. 

Laloo: Oh Yes! Due to increased mosquito problems many people are  under the net.

Gates: By the year 2010 India should export computer chips. 

Laloo: We are already exporting Uncle Chips. 

Gates(Feeling very Uneasy): do you regularly use LapTops? 

Laloo: My grand-child sleeps on the top of my lap. 

Gates(Heavily Sweating): The Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh knows a lot about RAM and ROM.

Laloo: RUM? Prohibition is being lifted and it will be shortly available in A.P.. 

Gates(Feeling Dizzy): I would like to take your leave before my system crashes.

Laloo: I have exhausted all my leave.

Gates: I have no energy left_inner, let us go out and have a bite.

Laloo: BITE? I believe in non-violence. I will not bite. 

Gates: (System Crashes and Found Missing). "Windows is restarting. Please wait............."